Apparently the Cosmos saved Noel Edmonds' career by getting him his presenting job on Deal or No Deal. Now the Cosmos can be your friend too with the help of Noel's very own iPhone app.
Noel Edmonds Cosmic Ordering is designed to offer 'a simple but astonishingly effective way of managing the way you view your life and your goals in life'. It's based around the theory that if you asked something from the Universe, the Universe will provide you with what you want (provided you have a positive mind and truly believe in yourself, of course).
Traditionally, those practicing cosmic ordering would simply write their requests to the Cosmos on a piece of paper. Thanks to Noel Edmonds Cosmic Ordering, you can now place your 'orders' on your iPhone instead. Simply type in what it is that you want (Noel advises you not to be too specific and to be realistic), enter a due date and select the category of order. Now click 'Launch order' and your request will be sent to the Cosmos as your iPhone screen swooshes and sparkles.
The main 'Manage Orders' screen allows you to view the status of all of your current Cosmos requests. You can order them by date, by category, and edit any details whenever you like. Click the 'Cosmos' button and a scientific-looking astral chart will appear indicating the position of your orders in the Cosmos.
One of the funniest things you can do in Noel Edmonds Cosmic Ordering is to view all the requests that other people have been making, by clicking the 'Online' button. Wishes and goals range from 'Grow a wicked cool beard' to 'Meet Mr Blobby'.
I guess the value of this app depends on your views on cosmic ordering. Some might regard Noel Edmonds Cosmic Ordering as a bit of swindle, that has no functionality whatsoever as an application. Others will see it makes for a handy way of asking the Comsos for what you want.
All I can say is that when I asked the Cosmos for a biscuit, a colleague offered me a custard cream 5 minutes later. Spooky.